(MONSTER) outline

This work is unfinished and not rated. It may contain strong, unexpected, or challenging material and is not suitable for children. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, please stop reading

Writing music

• Canon in D / Pachelbel
• Liar - Reptile Demo / NIN

Prose formatting style

Akjasd out emu wooer ewer iouwe oirulj owe ioqwue oiuw eoiu woeiu woieur oqiwue roiquw (EOEOODK) eoiru qwoieru aisdf
Asdlfj ??
(ASDF) !!
Lkjfslkdjf (LAK) sjdfkj
Klsdjkjf (SAD) klfj laueoiwaeu oiwueoruw (EOISER) wqioeu rioqwue r

• (No quote marks, just inline dialogue)
• (There is no actual dialogue in the book—just conversations with self and foggily imagined expressions and exchanges with victims)
• (No spaces after any paragraphs) - Actually make it with stanzas, some long some short
• (No terminating periods)
• (Yes spacely terminating ?? or !!)
• (Yes leading capitals)
• (Yes intermingled capitals)
• (Yes intermingled parentheses)
• Present tense
  • sense of becoming
  • I find myself here - like I’m in heaven reviewing each moment - placing myself back in it in the present moment

Music

• Black Sabbath - look up lyrics
• Judas Priest
  • Breaking the Law (a favorite)
• Work in some lyrics going through my head
• "death rock"

There I was completely wasting, out of work and down All inside, it's so frustrating as I drift from town to town Feel as though nobody cares if I live or die So I might as well begin to put some action in my life

So much for the golden future, I can't even start I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart You don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue If you did, you'd find yourselves doing the same thing too

You don't know what it's like

Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law Breaking the law, breaking the law

---

Faster than a bullet Terrifying scream Enraged and full of anger He's half man and half machine Rides the Metal Monster Breathing smoke and fire Closing in with vengeance soaring high

He Is The Painkiller This Is The Painkiller

Planets devastated Mankind's on its knees A saviour comes from out the skies In answer to their pleas Through boiling clouds of thunder Blasting bolts of steel Evils going under deadly wheels

Faster than a laser bullet Louder than an atom bomb Chromium-plated boiling metal Brighter than a thousand suns

Flying high on rapture Stronger free and brave Nevermore encaptured They've been brought back from the grave With mankind resurrected Forever to survive Returns from Armageddon to the skies

Can't Stop The Painkiller Pain

---

When you feel safe When you feel warm That's when I rise That's when I crawl

Gliding on mist Hardly a sound Bringing the kiss Evils abound

In the dead of night Love bites, love bites In the dead of night Love bites

Into your room Where in deep sleep There you lie still To you I creep

Then I descend Close to your lips Across you I bend You smile as I sip

Now you are mine In my control One taste of your life And I own your soul

Softly you stir Gently you moan Lust's in the air Wake as I groan

Love bites you Invites you To feast in the night Excites you Delights you It drains you to white Love bites...

You knew at first sight You'd enjoy my attack That with my first bite There'd be no turning back

So come in my arms I strike any hour I will return To trap and devour

Love bites

Characteristics about myself that I keep in mind

• First and foremost, my broken + rotted teeth - mostly how they feel, also how they look - I’m always checking them in the mirror at various places I go
• My height ??
• My attractiveness / my ugliness
• Pockmarked face
• (Sinister) smile - I find it attractive
• Shock of curly dark hair
• I don’t see myself the way the rest of the world does—I see me as a shapeshifting angel with glowing hair, wings, dropping an unholy book of prayers on each parishioner I visit
• Constant pain my my mouth
• I’m 150lbs and 6feet tall - I can feel the slimness of my belly, the slim muscles of my chest

Things I think about when I'm in process each of my crimes

• Do I listen to the radio? In cars or carry one with me?
  • What is playing on the radio at this time
• do I see what is on the walls of the people I’m killing? In their closets in their drawers in their kitchens, in their bathroom cabinets?
• How do I observe each car that I steal? Outside and in, associations to the manufacturers
• What movies are playing at the time? Do I see them?

Satanism

• pride, liberty, individualism
• no bowing to gods - instead placing self at the center of my own universe - the hero in your own life
• we are our own gods
• it’s ok to vent my wrath on those who cause me or those I cherish harm
• both truth and fantasy are needed by people
• no one cares - I am responsible
• satanists are atheists
• satanism demands study - not worship
• we do not grovel or bow or get on our knees to worship satan
• the devil is not horns and a pitchfork but the dark forces of human nature which we are just beginning to fathom
• god is a fantasy - tell people that when I’m killing them - stop deluding yourself
• there is nothing supernatural
• there is nothing spiritual - only the body
• I question everything - I am a skeptic
• the universe is neither malevolent or benevolent - it is indifferent
• there is no intrinsic purpose - I determine my own life’s meaning
• good is that which benefits me and promotes what I like
• [ evil is that which harms me and that I cherish ]
• I must at all times remain in control of my pursuit of pleasure
• merit determines the criteria by which I judge and am judged
• I seek justice - I do unto others - but will return poor treatment with like treatment
• I don’t worship the devil - I worship myself and I am a carnal being looking to enjoy my life to the fullest

Shoes

• tennis shoe prints
• look up the shoe story
• black Avia Aerobic shoes, model 445b, size 11 1/2
• standing in flower beds outside victim’s houses
• I have no idea I’m leaving shoe prints - I never even think about it

Weapons

• Handguns
• Various knives
• Machete
• Tire iron
• Claw hammer
• 1 stomped to death in her sleep - do I have this?
• Tortured another shockling with electrical cord

Colors

• Red
• White
• Black
• Brown

General

• My thoughts becoming less organized as the story progresses—as I drug, as I kill
• More and more direct communication with the gods and devils outside of our sphere – first it starts with tiny implanted voices and messages written on the wall that I feel with an idea of reference – then it becomes more clearly a communication 
• How does he write my culture? Focus on what’s the same between us
• What was going on aesthetically in 1984 ??
• I picked my victims as a burglar would pick his—but I’m still 100% a sex killer
• I am symbolically looking for the family I never had—collecting them dead
• I am compulsive (OCD) make my mind work like an OCD’s
• I’m constantly stealing cars before my crimes and discarding them afterward—driving on the freeways exiting searching for houses—do I just like brown ??
• One of my guns is a .22 cal revolver—a small caliber weapon why many of my victims survived being shot at close range
• In the cars, after the first radio show I listen to on myself, I’m always tuning in to listen to the radio about myself while I’m on the way to commit a crime / pick out the next house
• What about my dad ?? what was he like ?? Was he a factor - or a non factor ??
• What do I call women ?? lady / bitch
• Research rape victims responses during the rape act (Renata trembles - part of the reason for showing this violence is to encourage empathy from the reader - so show realistic rape responses - physically / verbally) >> fear.
• I’m 25 years old with a 25 year old’s mentality
• I’m into heavy metal rock
• In El Paso, I was a real nice guy - heavier and dressed nicer - had an accent (do I lose my accent by LA ?? - listen to court footage to find out)
• I don’t have a drivers license
• Used to shoot craps
• in a vision, I get the Toyota master key from Satan himself
• Research Satanism
• Walkman ??
• Verify victims with timeline on p208 of Night Stalker - check them off my outline
• I have low confidence - an average mind - don’t have intimate relationships
• “You don’t understand me - you are not expected to - you are not capable of it” “I am beyond your experience” (front quote?)
  • You don’t (UNDERSTAND) me. You are not (EXPECTED) to. You are not (CAPABLE) of it. I am (BEYOND) your experience
• Make it sexy. Just as leaving out the details of the victims’ suffering minimizes their experience, leaving out my views of myself (or theoretically the views of others about me) minimizes my experience - it’s bad to do this, but it’s ok. Funny -sick - sad - it’s everything
• Writing this should be fun for me - don’t require it to fit anyone else’s bill - just do exactly what I want to do
• Make it about losing my humanity — it was there at the beginning — it got chipped away
• Describe / know all sorts of details about the victims - their underwear, the insides of their bodies, intimate things shown here in my mind
• make language OCD features increase throughout
• victims speak to me in my own words
• this idea that it’s necessary or pleasing to make the private public by violating even gently someone’s secret treasures

Action

Structure

Chapter sections

1 a b c
2 a b c d e
3 a b c d
4 a b c
5 a b c d e
6 a b
7 a b c

Each section about 1 or 2k

1

a

• I begin sleeping in a local cemetery to escape from my father’s violence (wake up in a cemetery with memories of being tied to a crucifix by my dad and leave me overnight as punishment)
• riding the city bus before I have killed anyone – imagining lusting after (sexually / violently) people in the bus - riding the bus to my cousin’s ?? Would I ride a bus and what type of bus would I ride to get there ??
  • On a city bus, fantasizing about killing people on the bus
  • El Paso
    • Disease rates soaring
    • Crime pervasive
    • Drug smuggling
    • Stolen cars
    • Federalis in on the car thievery
    • Youth gangs fighting for turf
    • Police sirens wail constantly
      • A mail order picture of Jesus giving a blessing of peace tacked to the wall
    • At mother’s urging I attended mass at El Calvario Catholic Church
      • At 9 I was already becoming a loner (what was my intelligence in terms of IQ ?? - look that up)
      • Spend my time and money in arcades and the 7-11 playing video games (be specific about which ones)
    • Grew up on Ledo Street
    • Lace curtains
    • Youngest of 7 kids
    • Abusing drugs by age of 10 and drinking
    • Never joined a gang but was in a group who smoked pot and stole - nighttime slipping into homes in relatively affluent parts of town entering through unlocked windows and doors - I have sticky fingers (am a natural thief) - known as Richie Rabon (Spanish for thief) and as Dedos (Spanish for fingers) I enjoyed the names they made me a celebrity
    • Caught a few times by police sent to juvie before junior high
    • Juvie transformed me - I came out cutting classes and taking long absences from school - OCD mentality starting
    • Never held or sought a job
    • Youngest of six children
    • Father is violent alcoholic
    • Abused by father
    • Knocked unconscious and almost died on multiple occasions before I was 6 years old making me aggressive and hypersexual
    • Developed brain damage
    • Suffered from epileptic like convulsions
    • My dad - Resident Mexican alien works the railroad yards - never knew him - he never sat with us outside dinner
    • Epileptic possibly because dad beat him about the head when he was little
    • father is a former police officer from Mexico
    • mom worked in a boot factory and may have had toxins in utero
    • brain injuries – five years old knocked unconscious on a playground left a gash in my head which required stitches – had a concussion on the football field –  hurled from a horse –  jumped from a train and became unconscious – diagnosed in adolescence with epilepsy
    • I suffered seizures in elementary and junior high - would go wild - no one could get near me
    • seizures where no matter if you talk to me, I won’t respond where I’ll stare off into space – every day
    • brain injury shut down my ability to stop an impulse or make a moral choice
    • witnessed my father, beating his oldest son to the point where the rest of us were hiding
    • dad beat me with a water hose – he was going to shoot me one time, but my brother hid the gun
    • “We are all evil in some form or another – are we not?”
  • Constantly stoned - don’t know what I’m doing
  • Dated occasionally but no regular gf
  • the idea of sex became developed for me at the same time as the idea of rape - did I ever have sex outside of my crimes ?? Once ?? Failed ??
  • in my teens, arrested for attempted rape, but the woman wouldn’t testify against me
  • Bible study led to my interest in Satanism - came out connected with Jehovah’s Witnesses fascinated by Satan
  • I decided I could not live the way the Bible wanted me to live (at 13)
  • Interest in Satan increased after Bible studies - make it exactly like my Satanic cult meetings later - I ask questions and don’t like the answers I get so I storm out to do it on my own - went to library to read books on Satanism and the occult - interested in Satan’s power - empathetic with the Devil’s rebelliousness against God

b

• at my cousin’s house - where a combined-time scene of the uncle telling stories showing pictures and murdering his wife all happen at once
• Cousin's war stories and kills wife in front of me at 15 - it isn’t traumatic to me, but fascinating - murder is like a kaleidoscope to me
• Cousin Miguel - Vietnam, Green Beret, cousin impressive to me smoked pot with me, told me exaggerated tales from war produce pictures of people being tortured women being raped, these images fascinated me – mike is married –  one day Mike’s wife complains one too many times of his laziness and he shoots her in the face in front of me – I was 13
  • “No one knows better than those who kill for policy, clandestinely or openly, as do the governments of the world, which kill in the name of God and country for whatever reason they deem appropriate”
  • Cousin has schizophrenia
  • Vietnam vet
  • bragged about war crimes he committed
  • Taught me military skills stealth and tactics
  • Polaroid pictures showing Vietnamese women uncle had raped, murdered, dismembered, decapitated - photos depicted women being tied to trees or wooden posts both before and after they were sexually assaulted and killed by Valles
  • I am fascinated not repulsed at these pics and stories
  • cousin Mike photographed and kept trophies from Vietnam, rapes and kills – vicious
    • seeing gore and violence turned me on – it was exciting
    • Cousin had ears strung around his neck
    • Came back from Vietnam with two suitcases – one has his pillows – the other had Vietcong heads
    • "there’s no thrill like a good kill" cousin Mike
    • Mike takes his gun out of the refrigerator and shoots his wife in the forehead – something he’s been hinting about and talking about and joking about for a long time – some blood got on me – Mike told me he didn’t want me to get in trouble and to leave and to say he didn’t see this
    • I realized I enjoyed seeing it
  • LSD and alcohol with my uncle
  • Robbed sleeping patrons at a Holiday Inn where I worked
  • Molested two children in an elevator at the hotel
  • Tried to rape a woman in her hotel room - husband beat me at the scene - charges never filed
• A dream-becomes-realty chapter - the dreams of killing on the bus, the reality of seeing his uncle kill
• Killed his wife in front of me when I was 15
  • I drop out of the 9th grade
• I move in with my sister Ruth and her husband who is an obsessive peeping tom who takes me with him on night trips
• Arrests for marijuana possession and reckless driving - friend’s car police find a toy cap gun, a ski mask, and a stolen green wallet on the seat next to me - like a Mickey Mouse version of what I’m working up to become / do - held up a DQ - I got probation and left for LA

c

• When I leave El Paso for LA at 22yo, I’m smitten by all the Asians in LA - so many cute ones !!
  • I’m interested in Asians—why? Did some Asian do something to me ?? Or am I jealous of them or interested in them for some other reason
  • Always carry my Walkman
  • Black baseball cap with one or another heavy metal logo
• when I moved to LA lived with Rosie Juarez, my niece – for six months – she was seven – they argued over the TV – Richard was an avid reader – looking at the newspaper saying one day I’m gonna be here famous like us – she never asked me how
  • I want to be famous, so I move to LA like everyone else
  • Los Angeles is the city of dreams?
• Burglaries to support my cocaine addiction
• [April 10 1984] basement of 9yo girl’s apartment building - she was with her 8yo brother looking for a lost $1 bill when I approached her and told her to follow me to the basement to find it - once in the basement, I beat her, strangle her, rape her, then stab her to death with a switchblade - then hang her partially nude body from a pipe by her blouse - I was with a friend of mine at the time, another minor, who helped me
  • (scene of my first (non-forced?) sexual experience) Rape is about power, yes—but it’s a sexual crime—the sexual (enjoyment) is part of it, and a part left over from before the person had their first rape—what was my first sexual experience (non forced) that might be an interesting scene to include
  • before my capture – for the whole of this book, women pay me no attention – real women in natural relationships are nowhere near an option because I’ve screwed up for myself
  • I assume everyone is evil since I am – I assume my victims are evil
• [June 28 1984] murder 9 months before of 79yo woman - one bedroom apartment - throat severely slashed almost decapitated - body ripped by so many knife wounds it was more in pieces than together - blood splattered over bedroom / bathroom - I attempted to wash my hands before leaving - blood dappled the bedroom floor in sickening, congealed pools - formed scabs on sheets - rust colored smears across the walls - drawers scattered throughout the apartment, contents spilled - removed the screen from a front window - woman raped (before or after mutilated?) maybe this one started as a burglary and this is the one that escalated into murder - left her body sprawled obscenely on the bed
  • stabbed in the head, neck and chest while asleep in her bed
  • throat slashed so deeply she was nearly decapitated
  • came in through an open window
  • to rob them to pay for drugs and rent
  • death rattle one last breath out – spirit leaving the body
  • I delight in my victims’ suffering—it gives me joy
  • Shapes and color of blood on various surfaces - I love it
  • I am like an addict in my killing—just like my cocaine addiction—I need more and more and closer and closer together to feel good

2

a

• I attend a Satanism group meeting - this one comical
  • from a curiosity to an obsession
  • I attend an East LA Satanic cult meeting (area) in the shoes - I ask detailed serious questions and leave when they’re not taken seriously (when are we gonna roast some babies ??)
  • drew a satanic star on my bicep and a witch’s star on my stomach
  • i study satanism's tenets but the satanist group is into sex stuff and death stuff – i think they're silly bc i actually know about sex and death
  • Satanism is a joke to me – it never works, it's kid stuff - I walk out of my Satanism meeting after no one answers my questions !!
  • visit palm readers
  • told my friends Satan was a supreme being
  • believe that / ask that Satan watches over me while I’m committing my crimes
  • I met LaVey in 1983 - I was extremely polite - his answers about human sacrifice were disappointing as all my encounters with Satanists are
  • AC/DC Night Prowler - (read lyrics, consider including somehow - not sure though) is my anthem
  • AC/DC bassist Cliff Williams told a reporter for an article in the San Francisco Chronicle during a phone interview the attacks on the band were insulting “we’re family men - we’ve got wives and children who are at home and unprotected”
  • Highway to Hell album cover shows a band member wearing a pair of horns while another wears a pentagram pendant
  • children forced into sex acts with robed chanting adults, to drink blood eat feces witness animal and human sacrifices, and consume the flesh of roasted babies
  • Have an interplay between the satanic meeting I go to and the way I try to participate with those people and the way I try to participate with my victims in ordering their allegiance to satan - I’m trying to make something work in the murders that didn’t work in the meetings
  • maybe at the end of this Satanism meeting, go to the bathroom and do a line of coke

b

• Going from the city to the suburbs to (KILL)
• I have an insatiable sexual appetite—a catalogue of fantasies and fears—I view my victims as indomitable—towering figures I am honored to service—as tiny animals scurrying throughout their houses—waiting for me to scoop them up—I am unbelievably perverse
• Robbery was not the most important motive - instilling fear, pain, agony, the savage murder, rape, and terrorizing his victims - cruelty, sadistic sex
• threatening beating raping sodomizing cursing
• Smog in LA that summer
• Dehumanizing peeps is my jam
• Behave like a hyperactive child rather than a 25 year old man - whimsical shifts of mood - hopping from one foot to the other
• [February 20 1985] 58 year and 70 year old women - stabbed to death in Telegraph Hill San Francisco ??
• [March 17 1985] murder - brown condo near Pomona freeway - 22yo latino woman 34yo asian woman - first I go inside and shoot the asian, negotiating, having some fun with it, shooting him through the forehead, hiding in the garage, dressed in black wearing a dark blue baseball cap, holding a gun, she tries not to show her fear, stands perfectly quiet, she focuses on my face then darts away, I put the pistol to her nose, No. Please don’t Stop!, I shoot her in her hand, she plays dead on the garage floor, (I later see that keys in her hand deflected the bullet), I step over the body, blood coming from her hand, I kick her body aside and enter the condo, I hear a noise, go outside discover the thing about her holding the key she brings her bleeding hand to her face, she smears some of it in her mouth, she tries to hide behind a car but I’m on her, Please don’t shoot me again! I pause - zap - and shove the gun inside my belt, turn, and disappear into the darkness - as I’m escaping (on the bus?) I realize my blue baseball cap is gone - I left it back there with those dead ones -- later that day, a female law student, looking from Taiwan, young woman lying next to a Chevy, her purse and one blue shoe in the car - baseball cap was an AC/DC cap
  • removed a mesh screen from outside window
  • admiring my own moves – my routine – as though I am an Olympic gymnast/dancer
  • shot 22yo in the face outside her home as she pulls into her garage - bullet ricochets off keys she lifted to protect herself
  • plays dead until I leave the scene
  • 34yo asian woman inside ducks behind a counter as she sees me enter the kitchen - she raises her head to get a look - I shoot her in the forehead killing her instantly
  • the way a house feels a) before I wake up the victims b) while I’m torturing the victims c) after the last victim is dead - levels of quiet and anxiety
  • “A serial killing is just like a sex crime: there’s a buildup of tension, and killing is like a sex release for the killer” (show the release here after the buildup after the 1st killing)
  • Sexual sadist and psychopath - I don’t feel fear, I act boldly, I believe I cannot be caught
  • Sadists usually find that the pleasure was not as great as they had hoped - hence different victims or more violent acts in search of the expected thrill (also the OCD thing of revising your last act and revising it more critically than it first happened)

c

• radiofare (as I travel to the shoe store) based on this: “ten days passes since the Monterey Park shooting, Greater Los Angeles residents deluged with sensational stories made even more frightening by circulation seeking headlines and hysterical voiced newscasters about the serial killer rapist running amok in their midst, spurred by growing hysteria, grim-faced law officers doubled their efforts the take the madman off the streets, they checked out strange cars and faces, leaned on street informants, put out their own undercover men, sifting through any and all information that promised even the most tenuous connection to recent killings, and repeatedly questioned witnesses - to catch the killer before he strikes again”
  • Connie chung on tv
• I buy the famous shoes
• Scene of me buying the pair of shoes, and the reader can feel the surrounding mystique and critique of the cops who investigated the shoes statistically narrowing them to a single branch or whatever they did
• My one shoe print left at (almost?) every crime scene – decide what this means to me – absolutely nothing
• Shoe salesperson sees a drawing of a pentagram on my hand
• Greet people on the street with “Hail, Satan” and remarking that impressive things are “Evil”
• [March 17 1985] (two hours later) I had more confidence after that so I - 30 year old woman dragged from car and shot to death - Monterey park - shot her twice with 22cal handgun and fled

d

• [March 27 1985] white ranch house in Whittier 1/2 mile from San Gabriel River freeway Italians, mid 60s, told her to give me all her money (she said no) so I cut her and pulled her eyes out, woman’s eyes gouged out, empty sockets ringed with black gobs of blood and tissue - I had plunged a knife through her left breast leaving a large rugged wound, I had butchered her neck face abdomen and pubic area (cold bloodily, deliberately) bullet to her head killed her, I just stayed around to play with her body afterward - the woman stretched back in her bed, man on a sofa in the den fully clothed shot through the left temple, 45 caliber next to the woman’s body bullet below the bed, I came in through a bedroom window leaving footprints in the flowerbeds - not only did I take her eyes out, I took them with me (and I ate them)
  • how dare you interfere with my fantasy!
  • merge with details from wiki

e

• [May 14 1985] Monterrey park - 60yo Chinese couple - one story beige stucco home 1.5 miles from San Bernardino freeway - through a window, to the bedroom, placed my gun to the man’s head and (SHOT) hand over the mouth of the woman as she screams, punching her viciously, slamming her around, she tries to shake her husband back to life I’m asking where the money and jewelry is, she tells me where to look, I jerk her arms behind her back and thumb cuff her painfully - I ransack the house spilling papers clothes all over - I curse wildly finding nothing and return to the bedroom pull the woman to the edge of the bed and rape her - I leave
  • I write “Jack the Knife” in lipstick on the bedroom wall
  • What am I thinking when I rape someone old? Someone young? Nothing. I have no opinions about them, only sensory information
  • This is all terribly funny to me !!

3

a

• I’m like a doctor making house calls
• Black Jansport ?? or other backpack ??
• I didn’t kill any blacks or hispanics (show me avoiding neighborhoods containing these or avoiding a house containing these)
• I strike white yellow or beige homes near freeway ramps
• I have a master key to Datsuns and Toyotas !! (moved earlier)
• driving around at night fog rolling in a full moon. I get the feeling of excitement like I’m skydiving – it’s that much exhilaration and adrenaline
• [May 29 1985] 83 year old woman and invalid sister 79 year old - 2 bedroom house beige with brown trim - ends with the 83 year old lying in a pool of drying blood on her bedroom floor - head covered in deep cuts and bruises - 79 year old in another bedroom, wrists bound behind her back with the cord from an electric clock - black electrical tape around her ankles - puncture wound over 1 ear - bloodstained hammer with cracked handle lying on a dresser - house ransacked papers clothing pictures vases half eaten banana lying on the dining room table - a TV is missing - 83 year old has pentagram drawn in lipstick on Malvia Keller’s thigh - another pentagram crudely drawn in lipstick on the bedroom wall where the 79 year old lay comatose - small table overturned on 83yos chest - both women viciously beaten with the hammer and slashed - they had been tortured - I tried to rape the older woman - the 83 year old died, the younger one survived
  • The one eighty-year-old was an invalid
  • Write pentagrams on the walls of their homes - do I do that with some sincerity and some playfulness? Yes, of course, for the devil’s playful

b

• [May 30 1985] 40 year old white lady from Burbank - 12 year old son in bed before putting on a filmy pink nightgown - I force my way into the home, shine my flashlight point my gun at her head, Where is it? Get out of bed, I force her down the hall to her son’s room, climb on the bed and put my gun to the boy’s head - Don’t make a sound or do anything - I handcuff the boy behind his back - Mama? - Don’t say anything! I warn you! I push the boy into a closet and and slam the door - Don’t look at me. If you look at me again, I’ll shoot you - What do you want? I only have one thing of value - If I give it to you, will you please leave? Sure - she leads me to a dresser drawer, pulls out a gold and diamond necklace - I look it over and tell her to put her hands behind her back - But you promised! - Quiet bitch! I told you to put your hands behind your back - I tie her wrists with a pair of pantyhose, push her on the back on her back - I unzip my pants watching the pink and green snake resume its volume - tear the shimmery pink nightgown from her body - Please don’t do this - Shut up. If you make another noise I’ll kill you - she turns her head to avoid my breath - biting her lip as I raped her - when I was done I flipped her over and kept going - speaking softly through pain and tears she says You must have had a very unhappy life to do this to me - I say You look pretty good for your age, I don’t know why I’m letting you live, I’ve killed people before, You don’t believe me, but I have - I ransack the apartment dresser drawers looking for cash - I go back to the bedroom because she’s complaining that the pantyhose hurt her wrists - I loosen the knot and bring her a robe - I bring her son out from the closet, handcuff the woman next to the boy, and leave (is this son active conversationally during the previous time? - at least have him verbally complain / whimper and me tell him to shut the fuck up)
  • for me, the way picking can be a way not to breathe – my OCD picking is what screwed up the whole world

c

• cars squeal to a stop - I try to force the young woman out of her car - we argue - I jump in my car and drive away at top speed Help me! Please somebody help me!
• sneak into home of 42yo woman - bound her and her son with handcuffs - ransacked the house - directed woman to tell me where the family’s valuables are - rape her repeatedly - tell her not to look at me or I’ll cut your eyes out - release the kid from the closet and bound the 2 together with handcuffs - left
• [June 27 1985] pretty 32yo (42yo) (found dead?) in her yellow one story duplex 2 miles from the 210 freeway - throat cut from ear to ear - I go in, find a pair sleeping, crack crack him in the head with my gun, Beat her in the head and ask where her jewelry is - I swear upon (GOD) I don’t know - Swear upon satan - drag her from beside her stillness husband, threw her on the floor, ripped off her pjs, kicked her with my hard toed boots, slamming her head and body into the floor and bed, roll her on her stomach, handcuff her behind her back, dragged her by her hair bleeding from her face (her nose and mouth) into another bedroom where I flung her on the bed and raped her, screaming that she was a bitch and many other things, swear upon satan that you will not scream for help bitch! Say I’ll kill her boy if she disobeyed, half conscious and mouth filled with blood she swears in satan’s name not to scream - the boy was awake (I thought he went for ice cream) he is watching while I process his mom, I tie him up and look for rich stuff throughout the house, I see myself in the mirror scraggly bony corpse face rotting (MISSING) teeth, wild hair, threw the bitch onto her stomach, attempted to ass fuck her (FAILED) raped her (VAGINA) again, she’s half conscious during, throughout, I spew a constant angry stream of curses, I finally handcuff her to the door
  • I tell myself I’m under the control of satan and am not responsible for my actions - you might think I’m crazy - but you don’t know satan
  • Smiling at myself in victims' mirrors
  • My teeth are a metaphor – i eat sweets all the time (like my rapes, taking something sweet for me) but the way i do it ends up rotting out my mouth – rotting out the world with what i kill in the process
  • Maybe there are other rotting things here that I have or notice, like rotting fruit or moldy take out food in my crack hotel room

d

• the next morning at Donna Myers house in San Francisco - I had told her I was breaking into houses - I brag about stolen VCRs microwaves jewelry - I come into her cluttered living room and a police composite flashes on the screen “Hey Donna do you think I’m the Night Stalker ??” “Hell no Rick. You ain’t got enough guts to kill anybody” “Ain’t you afraid to be alone with me in the house?” “Donna, what would you do if you broke into a home and found out people were home? Would you kill them, or what would you do?” She thinks I’m kidding. She always thinks I’m kidding.

4 - (chilling in the crack motel summoning satan)

a

• staying at a crack motel on Mason ?? $20 - day rent in cash - using fake names
• first, I visit my jewelry fence
  • I see a (neon?) sign or text that says: don’t be afraid / of things you don’t understand (I took it to heart) (is it real or just a vision) (neon in a shop I go to) - weird inviting shit like this as my entrance to what I call Satanism which is just really my world of freakiness
  • (discussing AC/DC with my fence - bragging. About how) an AC/DC fan 17yo Rick Kasso of Riverhead NY stabbed a friend 17 times and plucked out the victim’s eyes before finishing him (taken to woods, tortured for hours, made to profess his love for satan before being stabbed to death - not sure how much of this detail I want to include)
  • Where do I get thumb cuffs? Handcuffs? Guns? From a shop or a street dealer? Maybe this is a scene - me talking to my gun dealer?
• get some to go food to take back to my room - I have money and am willing to spend it
  • Careless about spending my money (because it doesn’t matter to me)

b

• my room smells like skunk - my stink comes from within me - in my blood - in my guts
• I like yogurt Pepsi cupcakes, banana splits, Hershey bars, Cokes
• I like detective magazines, movies about murder, drugs
• Do i mention reading about serial killers?
• I smoke lots of pot - always wake up with a joint
• I never comb my hair or take a bath
• I'm in my head all the time - I have OCD - this is an elemental aspect of how I interact with the world – use my OCD experience to write this – and that's why I never brush my teeth – because it's not on my radar – I'm consumed by other things (other things are more important to me) i stay up till its so late i fall asleep and i solve problems all night and i wake up with a compelling idea each day that thrusts me into action – i am obsessive. Just not about brushing my teeth
• Never with women (I was into other things)
• Never brush my teeth - why ?? Is it because I have too much going on internally to think about it ?? Because I don’t consider myself to exist ?? Because on some level I don’t love myself ?? (Look up psychological reasons for this)
• Pornography ?? (on the floor at least)
• I’m not insane
• I draw a pentagram on the bathroom door
• I’m jittery unable to eat food I’ve ordered
• The deluging with vile names that I do to others - I also do to myself

c

• The cocaine spinning me out of control, out of my morality
• prepping the coke shot
  • first snorting then shooting
  • left arm had tracks
  • one time I broke a needle off in my arm and my friend took my to the ER to have it removed
• Cocaine kit or do I just stuff it in my pockets / bag ??
• My teeth - I delude myself that they’re beautiful - they put me in constant pain
• satanism (I’m reading about it while shooting coke)
• reading about sexual initiation rites of a 12 year old (fucked by the leader of her troupe and then fucks the rest of the troupe)
• I’m reading LaVey
• I read a book on Satanism (haphazardly) in ch4
• lighting black candles, drinking of my own blood
• taking any street drug I could find during the time of the murders – I was always high during the murders – not sleeping for days
  • I may have used PCP
• I was fertile soil for evil – for the demons
• Satan himself isn’t a joke to me – nor are demons – it’s just human Satanism as a club that I find hilariously disappointing
• I am trying to become possessed by the devil - I have tried before - this is my thing - I want to become satan but I don’t even know that I already am - the Satan thing to me is a method by which I try to arrive - but I’ve already arrived - I already have the playfulness and the curiosity and the lack of self-analysis needed to be the devil - I think my attempts at self-possession fail (but they fail and do not need to succeed at the same time)
• Conceptualizing vaginas and anuses of differing ages - them becoming abstract meaningless
• Tranfixes with the devil transfigures to come present at one of my crimes (the middle one 4)
• What’s my favorite color? Brown? Black

5

a

• a brown 1879 Pontiac Grand Prix used in >=1 murder
• 9yo boy kidnapped from home sodomized left bleeding near Silver Lake (allowed to live)
• girl kidnapped at gunpoint raped by me in her house while her parents slept (allowed to live)
• did this to at least 3 kids—sex assault them, let them go
• I am ashamed to think what others might think about me raping young boys - but I enjoy it
• teenage babysitter fells asleep and I entered through a window and raped her (allowed to live)
• [July 2 1985] 75yo woman dead in 1 story beige house near Arcadia - brutally beaten throat slashed with a knife house ransacked - bludgeoned her to unconsciousness with a lamp and stabbed her to death using a 10in butcher knife from her kitchen - stabbed her body repeatedly after she was dead
  • put a paint can underneath the window and stepped into the house on it
• [July 5 1985] 16yo girl I attacked at home in Arcadia beat viciously about head with tire iron
  • beat her with a tire iron as she slept in her bed
  • search in vain for a knife in the kitchen
  • settle on trying to strangle her with a telephone cord
  • startles me to see sparks emanate from the cord
  • she begins to breathe, saying that Jesus Christ had intervened to save her
  • I flee the house
  • demons if you believe in them – they believe in you – if you help them do what they wanna do, they’ll help you do what you wanna do - I must have displeased them because they fucked me on this one

b

• [July 7 1985] Monterrey park - 60yo woman dead beige house bludgeoned to death
  • Find her asleep on her living room couch
  • Beat her to death by stomping on her face repeatedly
  • A shoe print from Avia was imprinted on her face
  • I cruise around and return to the same neighborhood to a 63yo woman’s house, tried to rape her, stole her jewelry, when she swears I’ve taken everything of value, I tell her to swear on satan
• I return to Monterrey park - 63yo nurse sleeping at home I put a hand over her mouth point a gun at her head and say Make a sound and I’ll kill you - roughly pull her hands behind her back and handcuff them - took her to the bathroom ordered her to sit down - don’t make any noise and don’t look at me - she nods mutely - I ransack the home - order her back into the bedroom order her to lie down and stuffed a glove in her mouth - Bite down on this so you won’t scream - the glove kept her teeth from chattering - shove a pillow over her face unzip my pants and try to rape but can’t get hard - order her to turn on her stomach try to ass rape her - failed - nurse’s terror increases with each of my failures - she thinks I might kill her to salve my pride - instead after cursing her I gather all the valuables I can carry and leave
• [July 20 1985] purchase a machete, drive a stolen Toyota to Glendale - burst into 65-year old husband and wife pair - hacked them with the machete - killed them with shots to the head from a .22 caliber handgun - mutilated their bodies with the machete before robbing the house of valuables
• fence my stolen goods

c

• [July 20 1985] (in the same night) Glendale - unlatched side gate and through unlocked French doors - I pass quietly through the house coming to bedroom of 60 year old husband and wife are sleeping - collector of peanut butter jars filled with pennies - wife has back problems makes it difficult to move - I shoot and butcher then savagely in a killing frenzy - wife covered in gaping slash wounds exposing bone and vital organs - husband throat cut so deep almost decapitated
  • merge with wiki
  • I laugh a lot (at people I’m hurting) stare into their eyes
• [July 20 1985] sun valley drove stolen Toyota to Glendale - shot 30yo man in head with .22 - raped and beat 32yo woman - bound their 8yo son and dragged woman around house to reveal location of valuables which I stole - told her to swear to satan that she was not hiding any money from him
  • merge with wiki
  • they also have a 2yo child - what happened there ??
• [June 27 1985] 32yo woman sodomized strangled, throat slashed

d

• [August 6 1985] (white?) husband / wife - he shot to death while sleeping - his 28yo wife raped, ass raped, forced to suck my dick - husband and wife in bed - wife senses me, wakes - Who are you? What do you want? I laugh - the husband is half asleep - Is it one of your brothers acting out a bad joke? I point my gun at the wife and fire bullet tearing through her cheek next to her left eye pass through her palate and exit through back of her head - she falls back against the pillow - husband springs up - I fire again ripping his temple and lodging at the base of his brain in the back of his neck - Daughter in next room screams Mommy, what’s going on? - Virginia confused feeling no pain asks he’s hubby if they’d been shot with a stun gun - he gasped blood streaming from his head wound - her face was gone - I laugh and giggle and giggle - husband not having this, growling leaped from bed and chases me around the room !! I turn and run firing 2 wild shots screaming at the husband to stay back !! The growl grows louder, the father protecting his daughter (crying in the next room) - my arrogance turns to fear I scramble panicked from the house by an unarmed man with a bullet at the base of his brain
  • merge with wiki
  • In searching for a house, I find windows shut and locked even on the most humid nights (no air conditioners) I find floodlights kept on all nights outside of homes
  • I break into 30 year old (white?) couple - enter their bedroom awakened the man when I cocked my .25cal - I shoot him 3 times in the head - I turn to the wife, tell her I’m the night stalker, force her to say she loves satan as I beat her with fists and bound her with ties from the closet - steal what I can - drag her to another room - rape her - demanded cash and jewelry and made her “swear on satan” there was no more - he said “tell them the night stalked was here” and this scene is like it’s old news to me - I’m bored - I never really believed in the satan thing and I it rings flat here
  • Attack on 30yo man and 29yo woman (white?) in which I say “Tell them the Night Stalker was here”
  • Northridge broke into a 30 something couples house - startled the woman - shot her in the face - shot the man in the neck and attempted to flee - man fights back while I shot him twice more - I escape
  • 38yo man and 27yo woman survived bullet wounds to head
  • get details from wiki
• 35yo female psychologist unmarried raped vaginally orally anally several times over three hours—afterward the woman tried not to be killed by gaining my empathy, surprised I spent the next hour talking with her calmly, then left after tying her up ??
• In a stolen Toyota where I leave a business card for my dentist, I am stopped for a traffic violation on the Glendale freeway—I flee on foot and escape the police—I remember the business card—I think I’m ok bc I used a false name and paid in cash (maybe make a scene of this dentist interaction—maybe just remember it)

e

• on the radio / newspaper / reflected in the voices of neighbors
  • I am listening to police and pop psychologists try to describe me on the radio—come up with theories, names (get the list of names)
  • someone speculates I’m a Vietnam vet with a grudge and Vietnam may be where he broke down and learned to kill
  • someone points out that my victims are mostly Asian—too high a proportion to be random
  • police say I’m “cold blooded and extremely dangerous”
  • police say (of living with dread) “Better to wake up in a pool of sweat than a pool of blood”
  • caller “My God, I live in a yellow house and we’re only 4 blocks from the freeway”
  • police “People are armed and staying up late. Burglars want this guy caught like everyone else. He’s making it bad for their business”
  • police “The biggest thing this creep has going against him is that he is do frigging ugly someone is sure to spot him” (this contrasts with my view of myself—believing in (or seeing) the beauty in myself and only doubting that I’m really horrid)
  • psychologist/commentator “Tension usually is relieved when the cause for terror is eliminated—in this case when the Stalker would be caught—some communities take years to forget and for normal life to return—of course, there is also the possibility that in this case the residue of fear and terror may never leave”
  • “Did the devil make him do it?”
  • “Rock and Roll Feeds Night Stalker’s Satanic Cravings” (news headline)
  • The radio and tabloid news become like neon to me - ideas of reference gone insane - the paper itself glows from behind the plastic housing
  • experts explaining how heavy metal bands were promoting worldwide satanic movement bent on perverting Christian values, heavy metal bands are satan’s missionaries
  • Religious fundamentalists loved marrying satan and heavy metal with the Night Stalker as their unholy offspring - an occasion to praise the lord
  • Rock n Roll is satan’s music - tempting our youth to the path of evil - they understand good and evil without the shades of gray that go between
  • a street preacher with holes in the soles of his shoes (around Greyhound station) and sophisticated evangelists in $500 suits (seen on TV) - “Satan spreads his message of evil in rock n roll in hidden messages and tapes must be played backwards and listened to very carefully before lyrics praising satan or encouraging drug abuse can be recognized” “rock songs take over the subconscious making young ppl turn to drugs / join devil cults”
  • “devil sects have increased at a frightening rate over the last 10-15 years - there are at least 400 satanic churches in the us”
  • man interviewed upset about Social Security numbers bc they’re the mark of the beast, refuses to let his daughter apply for one “the book of revelations forbids the use of numbers to identify human beings bc the numbers are that by which the antichirist seeks to control humans - fundamental christians see in satanism the fulfillment of Biblical prophecies dealing w the end of the world”
  • I turn off the radio and scoff
  • I see a pair of composite sketches - one initial, one a couple months later - think the first is kind of cute and inaccurate and the second is more accurate and less cute
  • I hear Mayor Dianne Feinstein say the details the police are keeping secret are fingerprints and similar methods of operation the cases have in common - Captain Block announces angrily at a news conference that they mayor’s information threatens the success of their investigation - he labels her as irresponsible political grandstanding - saying the stalker might change his methods and become more difficult to apprehend - idiots, I say, and turn it off
  • I think I’m uncatchable

6

a

• I am capable of appearing anywhere anytime
• [August 8 1985] (Two nights later) I shoot a 30yo afghan husband in the head while he sleeps by his wife - she looks at the hole in her husband’s head and cries looking at me over her with a gun in her face - I laugh at the hole in the guy’s head and his wife’s reaction - Don’t worry bitch. I just knocked him out - I hit him over the head !! Don’t worry, see? I knock his head from side to side - See? He’s fine? See !! You’ll be wactching (Wheel of Fortune) together soon - I put a sheet over his face, took off 1 glove, and beat the woman with my fist - pull from the bed and throw her on the floor, punch her and kick her so hard that the tiny framed fragile woman almost fainted with the pain - when I got tired from the beating I handcuffed her behind her back and dragged her by her hair to another bedroom - bleeding from her mouth and nose I hurl her onto the bed - I deluge her with vile names she had never heard before, barely understood (bitch whore) Swear! Swear upon Satan that you won’t scream for help - gasping with pain she swears - I rip off her nightgown and drag her at gunpoint to her bedroom (he has the pillowcase over his head) This is your husband. He’s already dead - you can either cooperate or I will kill your children too - I rape her and force her to suck my dick - the cum spills out like Disney - bubbles from the Magician’s Apprentice - I drag her by her long hair as I searched the house for cash / valuables - she tells me about some jewelry but I’m unsatisfied - I stop to drink some apple juice from the refrigerator then drag her back to the bedroom and rape her again on the floor this time - I tie her up in the bedroom and took a bottle of baby oil into her 8yo son’s bedroom - the boy’s piercing screams - the mother’s whimpering complaints - my single shout to her to be quiet - boy’s screams and sobs - slapping sounds - bleeding from asshole - I go back to the woman, collect my valuables into a pillowcase and stuffed a sock in her mouth and left
  • I love to kill people - love to watch them die - I shoot them in the head and watch them wiggle and squirm all over the place and then just stop (it’s not like in the movies) or cut them with a knife watch their faces turn white - I love blood
  • scene Like the con artist equivalent of a $100k swindler stealing $1 from an old man ?? Would Ramirez do something like this ?? Steal something from someone on the bus ?? Steal girls’ notes like my cousin ??
  • merge with wiki about details including 3yo son

b

• [August 18 1985] 60yo couple - I steal the Toyota from Chinatown from in front of a restaurant - I’m cruising around in a battered orange 1976 Toyota station wagon un an mid upper class neighborhood looking at houses, not finding anyone, I pass a teenager working on his motorbike in his parents’ garage - at 2am that night I drive by the target house as they turn off the lights - at 2:30 dressed like a Ninja I creep through an open window moving silently through the house - the dude is lying on his back sleeping soundly - the woman tosses restlessly - I slip a pistol from my belt, held it a few feet from the guy’s head, pulled the trigger three times - dude’s body lurches violently and flops across his wife awakening her immediately - she rolls over in her bed, clutching her throat (her heart?) I grab her by the hair and pull her roughly out of bed - maybe I’m losing my heart about this at this point ?? Maybe I have a moment where I let myself see this is wrong - then I snap back - I jam the gun in her face slamming the metal barrel into her cheekbone - she (gasps) “Shut up bitch or I’ll blow your head off” I hiss - the woman clamps her jaw shut and kept it shut as I drag her by her hair to a bureau in another room - I rummage through the doors (muttering to myself) until I find neckties - I tie her hands and feet - toss her carelessly on the bed - as I’m tying her I smirk “You know who I am don’t you? I’m the one they’re writing about on TV” (I’m the one who..insert details from the impressions of the radio and news broadcasters and theorizers about him) I grin to show her my rotting mouth “You know, if I kill one, I might let the other one live” I rummage the room and the lady looks at me paralyzed going through her stuff - I move with the professionalism of a burglar - I can’t find anything worth anything and portable enough to steal and it makes me angry !! I order her to lie on her back - I unzip my pants - she’s shaking - I force her legs apart - she blushes with shame - she reels from my mouth odor and sight (disgusted) as I’m close to her - what do I think of her in this moment ?? I leave the room, rummage through the rest of the house, spilling their things over the floor swearing and shouting - I go back to where the lady was tied up - wrap my bony fingers around her hair - yanked her off the bed and threw her to the floor - I leave her feet tied and rape her again - when I was through she begged me not to hurt her anymore - she says she has money hidden in a dresser - (“You’ve been keeping this from me the whole time I had you here on the bed..?”) I curse her and make her swear to satan that the money was there - her eyes with fear, horror, pain she said the words - I smile =) revealing my awful teeth (do I delude myself for a second that they’re beautiful?) she walks limping to show me the drawer where the money is - I snatch it from the drawer, wave the bills “This is all that saved you.” I order her to swear her love for satan “I love satan” she mumbles - I order her to say them again, giggle, force her to her knees - I pull her hair as I rape her mouth painfully - I smelled and behaved like a vile thing from a sewer / septic system - he stomach knotted - she braces for a bullet - I cackle and leave, driving away in an old orange Totota - drive it to a parking lot in Rampart LA - dump it - catch a bus to Phoenix to buy some coke
  • merge with wiki
  • drop my avias over the Golden Gate Bridge after watching the news - Diane Feinstein leaks the info on TV
  • I remain in San Fran a few days before heading back to LA
  • [August 24 1985] Travel to LA in orange Toyota - try to break into a house in Mission Viejo - I see a 13yo boy through his bedroom window - make eye contact - he sits up and I flee
    • = heading back from San Fran to LA - 13yo son finds me hiding outside - the kid wakes his parents - I drive away
  • my work is whimsical, random - like the work of nature - like I didn’t know myself what I would do before I did it
  • my abominations are beyond normal murder - I’m performing some evil, incomprehensible ritual - my killings are insanity or demonic possession
  • by the end of the book, Satan no longer speaks to me through my victims – it’s like he’s left me behind, forsaken me
  • The devil inside me wants the glory of my crimes to be seen - out of pride, or greed, or gluttony - but the devil in my wants his handiwork to be known to all the world - that is part of my motivation doing these things - I am making works of art so monstrous they will be known by the whole world (art by both of us)

7

a

• catch Greyhound to Tucson to meet my brother, he’s not home, I return to LA
  • Riding the bus again greyhound (considering) what I’ve done
  • on the bus, I’m imagining the people as I was in the first chapter, knowing their fantasies, planning which ones I’d like to kill, feeling their insides on my cock
  • I see police staking out highway entrances while I’m riding the bus - looking for me but I don’t realize they have anything to do with me
  • head back from Tucson to LA - wearing black pants and a black tshirt with a Jack Daniel’s logo on its front - black backpack hanging from one shoulder - I walk into the bus station - stop in the restroom - shoot coke - passing security guards - no one notices me - I step outside glance at the LAPD’s Central Division station - I go to the corner and board an eastbound Southern California Rapid Transit District bus - alone with my Walkman rock music and Satan my protector
  • I have a locker at Greyhound station with 2 handguns cocaine jewelry (guns not used in murders)
  • I use a .22 or .25 small caliber pistol and gave it to a friend when I was done
  • Sent stolen jewelry to my sister Rosa Flores in El Paso
  • Listening to the radio - the id process has taken a miracle - the suspects name is Ricardo “Richard” Levya Ramirez a small time thief who uses the nickname “Ricky” - the Japanese NEC supercomputer (testing 650 fingerprints every second) had been loaded with all persons with prints on file who had been born after Jan 1 1960 - I see a picture of myself on the TV - a white man’s face fat and cheeky jowls says “You cannot escape - Every lay officer and every citizen knows who you are and exactly what you look like” I pull the stings of my sweatshirt hood down over my face

b

• A few miles south of downtown LA at 830am I walk into Tito’s Liquor Store at 819 Towne Avenue - selected a can of Pepsi picked up some powdered sugar doughnuts - as I go toward the register several people glance at me - I assume its because of my teeth - pull three singles from my pocket - removed the earphone - people whispering behind me - I turn to look but they avoid my eyes - my heart quickens but I dismiss it as an effect of the cocaine I’d shot in the bus station restroom
• I notice the front page of La Opinion next to the cash register - I saw the dominating picture but didn’t recognize it - I looked again and my heart lurched so hard it seemed as though someone had punched me in the chest - I turn and see other customers staring at you wide eyed disbelieving - this time they didn’t look away - “I tell you, it’s him!” I look back at the other papers - Los Angeles Times, Herald Examiner, Daily News - my (photographer old police mugshot) is on the front page of each one even the out of town papers Sacramento Bee - Orange County Register, San Francisco Examiner - I bolt out the door leaving the cashier holding my change Pepsi and donuts forgotten on the counter “It’s him!” “Who?” The cashier said. “The Night Stalker, damn it! Don’t stand there, man. Call the cops.”
• It’s hot I feel sweat on my face armpits sweating heart pounding breath whistling through my mouth - running blindly voice in my head “They know who I am, they’re going to kill me, get away” I bump into someone “Hey asshole - watch where you’re going!” My lungs burning - I just ran 2 6minute miles despite my physical condition - I stand with my bony butt against the side of a building, panting from fear, I lean forward with my hands on my knees - one second later someone yells “It’s him! It’s the Night Stalker! Call the cops!”
• I start running again - not so fast this time - head pounding - try to clear it - my eyes dart around looking for a way out - A car, got get me a car - I think of running into the street to stop one but they were moving too fast - I keep running - see two cars parked close together - one is locked - the second, open - I crawl under the steering wheel to Hotwire it (get details) hand too shaky
• 8:57am - sirens - helocopters
• panicked running blind I cut off Mott street onto Percy street, stop before a woman’s home, catching my breath and wiping sweat from my eyes - open the front gate - inside the house, Latino woman watching television frowns, hears the sirens in the background, growing louder - jumps up and runs to the door - I approach her looking around fear in my eyes - soaked with sweat - the woman approaches me, her hand on the screen door, and I say “Ayudame” (Help me!) The woman looks to the right - she can see no one but she knows the police are coming - helicopter rotors above - I see the look of recognition on her face - she knows it’s me, The Night Stalker - “No!” She screams slamming the door shut - I jump the (lower smaller gate outside) and head toward Indiana Avenue
• Outside a donut shop on Indiana Avenue, in a parking lot, I’m pulling a woman from her car - she fights punches slaps me and she’s screaming !! Someone from Art’s butcher shop runs out and yells at me then yells for help - 2 other men running toward me “Mira! It’s him. El Matador! The killer!” I make eye contact with them, back away from the car and start to run
• I head to the barrio - I know those streets - these were my people, Hidpanics - neighborhoods remind me of Ledo St in El Paso - but on it’s a tough area - territorial gangs dressed in baggy legged black pants tightened at the ankles topped by white undershirts - they patrol the streets in low rider Chevys living by a code of machismo and honor - Hubbard Street, Percy, Princeton streets are neighborhoods - working class homes well maintained - lawns neatly trimmed - almost every house has a plaster Madonna, wooden cross, wreaths with Jesus’ image on front lawns or doors - mess with one person, mess with the entire extended family - back yards enclosed with wooden fences - front yards wrought iron or chain link fences - here the mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles are in control
• I jump a fence to a 40yo man’s yard he’s cooking hamburgers and spare ribs (mmm..those smell good) I land a few feet away - he demands to know why I jumped over his fence - I struggle to answer - the man smacked me in the head with his BBQ tongs !! Instead of the Night Stalker, I’m now frightened, whimpering and I don’t strike back - I beg the guy for water - the guy hits me in the head, again, with his tongs, and orders me out of his yard !! I start climbing over the fence - exhausted, soaked with sweat, not moving as quickly as dude expects, he hits me on the wrist with his metal tongs !! I drop over the other side, into another back yard
• 56yo dressed in slippers and work clothes, working on transmission of 1966 red Mustang - he was about to slide under the car when I pick myself up off the ground and see the mustang - wobbly legs, salty sweat in my eyes, I lurch to the car and struggled behind the wheel - the dude realizes I’m here - someone’s trying to steal his car while he’s working on it in his own back yard ?? He rushes at me, catches me around the neck just as I start the Mustang “I’ve got a gun! I’m going to shoot you!” I screamed (hysterical, like a high-pitched screech of a cat) - no way dude is letting me go - he grunts and holds me tighter - I fight the car into gear, it start forward, the guy grabs the wheel , crashing the Mustang into the fence, I shift into reverse shifted the car into reverse slamming into the garage, stalling out - the guy wrestles me out of the car but I break free, racing away from the cursing man down the driveway
• Across the street, pretty (what would I like to do to her ??) 28yo woman getting into gold Ford Grenada - drenched in sweat I run toward her - she grabs her car keys and clutches them tightly - I stick my head through the open window - I demand she give me the keys - she pulls away - “Te voy a matar” [I’m going to kill you] I hiss pointing at her “Give me the keys. Give me the keys.” She clutches the keys tighter - then in her eyes the shock off knowing who I am - “El Matador! El Matador!” she screams, slides across the seat, wrenches open the passenger seat, jumps out - this woman’s husband runs to the front of the house picking up an iron bar
• 55yo man across the street runs to his door yelling for his sons - steps outside - standing with the 56yo from the Mustang (his next door neighbor) with one or two of the 55yo’s sons who says “It’s the killer. It’s the Night Stalker.” Stuffing his white undershirt into his pants ?? “Let’s get him.” (Maybe something in Spanish)
• But the 28yo’s husband strikes first - hitting me in the back of the neck with an iron gate rod - he snarls at me !! Swings the rod again catching me across the shoulders - I stumble, fall, get up - start running - the three guys from across the street meet me, the son punches me - exhausted dizzy barely able to breathe, I continue running - [think think think] - I stop turn and stick my tongue out at the mob !! I laugh [tell what kind of laugh - the laugh of ..] everyone stops !! Then I laugh again and keep running “The son-of-a-bitch is crazy” someone says
• A block away, the 28yo’s husband catches up to me, hitting me in the head with a 3.5ft long bar, dropping me to the ground - I tried to roll away from the husband but meet that guy’s two sons pounce on me and hold me down

c

• a cop car pulls up looks at me and I look at him and I can see him see the fear in my eyes - he takes his handcuffs off hie belt and I raise my hands to him “Save me. Please. Thank God you’re here. It’s me. I’m the one you want. Save me before they kill me.” “He tried to beat my wife!” the man with the rod said - “Al right, that’s enough” the officer says - I yelp as the cop cuffs me - my right wrist is probably broken - shoves me into the back seat and climbs behind the wheel - I notice the crowd has grown and is attacking the sides of the car - deputy picks up the radio - the crowd parts and 6 cop cars pull up around us - the cop turns to me “You’re Richard Ramirez, aren’t you?” “Yeah, man. I’m Richard Ramirez.” I start to cry. Leaning forward so my head is between my legs. “Shoot me, man. Kill me. I don’t deserve to live. Kill me now.” [plus soc thinking about that - or - the car pulling through the la sunset - slowly - through oceans of people standing staring hating reviling me occasionally jumping forth to slam a fist on the window] [the end]
  • Someone says “If he is the devil’s disciple, he sure picked the wrong neighborhood” madonnas on lawns pictures of christ in doorways (make the religious symbols comically battle each other)
  • No mercy on him just bc he’s Latin
• I think of my dad, up in heaven, sitting next to the Virgin, looking down upon me - was he proud, now ?? I hope so
• The capture on the street – crowd beats me with a metal pipe - I imagine the scenario almost through to the end with them fantastically beating me as I’ve beat others
  • I forget how other people feel but am reminded when my cards are down - especially at the end
• in the patrol car at the end, they wrap my head in ace bandages and foam
• people, whistling on clapping and cheering like they’re at a baseball game
• at the end add a thing about LA being the city of dreams
• At the end, I’ve been working up to a reason why I did all this—teasing the reader—and in the end the answer is just that there is no answer—I did it all for fun !!
• I shout to the crowd - You don’t (UNDERSTAND) me. You are not (EXPECTED) to. You are not (CAPABLE) of it. I am (BEYOND) your experience !!
• The idea that I have been sent to Earth in very order to do these demon rounds, which I will do dutifully, until my time is up, then I shall return to the heavens