Dirt

(MONSTER) outline

Music

Pachelbel’s Canon

Style

Akjasd out emu wooer ewer iouwe oirulj owe ioqwue oiuw eoiu woeiu woieur oqiwue roiquw (EOEOODK) eoiru qwoieru aisdf
Asdlfj ??
(ASDF) !!
Lkjfslkdjf (LAK) sjdfkj
Klsdjkjf (SAD) klfj laueoiwaeu oiwueoruw (EOISER) wqioeu rioqwue r

(No quote marks, just inline dialogue)
(There is no actual dialogue in the book—just conversations with self and foggily imagined expressions and exchanges with victims)
(No spaces after any paragraphs)
(No terminating periods)
(Yes spacely terminating ?? or !!)
(Yes leading capitals)
(Yes intermingled capitals)
(Yes intermingled parentheses)

General

My thoughts becoming less organized as the story progresses—as I drug, as I kill
More and more direct communication with the gods and devils outside of our sphere – first it starts with tiny implanted voices and messages written on the wall that I feel with an idea of reference – then it becomes more clearly a communication
How does he write my culture? Focus on what’s the same between us
Rape is about power, yes—but it’s a sexual crime—the sexual (enjoyment) is part of it, and a part left over from before the person had their first rape—what was my first sexual experience (non forced) that might be an interesting scene to include
I’m like a doctor making house calls
Youngest of six children
Epileptic possibly because dad beat him about the head when he was little
Going from the city to the suburbs to (KILL)
Robbery was not the most important motive - instilling fear, pain, agony, the savage murder, rape, and terrorizing his victims - cruelty, sadistic sex
threatening beating raping sodomizing cursing
Typically killed the males then delighted with the women / children
Write pentagrams on the walls of their homes - do I do that with some sincerity and some playfulness? Yes, of course, for the devil’s playful
Smog in LA that summer
Dehumanizing peeps is my jam
Where does he get thumb cuffs? Handcuffs? Guns? From a shop or a street dealer? Maybe this is a scene - him talking to his gun dealer?
Conceptualizing vaginas and anuses of differing ages - them becoming abstract meaningless
What’s my favorite color? Brown? Black
What am I thinking when I rape someone old? Someone young? Nothing. I have no opinions about them, only sensory information
This is all terribly funny to me !!
The deluging with vile names that I do to others - I also do to myself
The idea that I have been sent to Earth in very order to do these demon rounds, which I will do dutifully, until my time is up, then I shall return to the heavens

Characteristics about myself that I keep in mind

My height ??
My attractiveness / my ugliness
Pockmarked face
(Sinister) smile - I find it attractive
Broken + rotted teeth
Shock of curly dark hair

Things I think about when I'm in process each of my crimes

..
Do I listen to the radio? In cars or carry one with me?
- What is playing on the radio at this time
do I see what is on the walls of the people I’m killing? In their closets in their drawers in their kitchens, in their bathroom cabinets?
How do I observe each car that I steal? Outside and in, associations to the manufacturers
What movies are playing at the time? Do I see them?

Outline

7 numbered chapters
The cocaine spinning me out of control, out of my morality
On a Greyhound, fantasizing about killing people on the bus
My one shoe print left at (almost?) every crime scene – decide what this means to me – absolutely nothing
Scene of me buying the pair of shoes, and the reader can feel the surrounding mystique and critique of the cops who investigated the shoes statistically narrowing them to a single branch or whatever they did
Playing plastic monsters as kids—I always fought with the anaconda Killing (EVEN) the tyrannosaur
scene Like the con artist equivalent of a $100k swindler stealing $1 from an old man ?? Would Ramirez do something like this ?? Steal something from someone on the bus ?? Steal girls’ notes like my cousin ??
the idea of sex became developed for me at the same time as the idea of rape
I have OCD – in my teens I obsessively ate candy bars, and that rotted my teeth unable to afford dentistry – halitosis mars me contrary to my good looks
became a Satan worshiper
in my teens, arrested for attempted rape, but the woman wouldn’t testify against me
Tranfixes with the devil transfigures to come present at one of my crimes (the middle one 4)
hearing the announcement on the radio of a serial killer - We have a serial killer in Los Angeles County

1

riding the city bus before I have killed anyone – imagining lusting after people in the bus - riding the bus to my uncle’s ?? Would I ride a bus and what type of bus would I ride to get there ??
Riding the greyhound to his uncles house - where a combined-time scene of the uncle telling stories showing pictures and murdering his wife all happen at once
Cousin's war stories and kills wife in front of me
Cousin Miguel Vietnam, Green Beret, cousin impressive to me smoked pot with me, told me exaggerated tales from war produce pictures of people being tortured women being raped, these images fascinated me – mike is married – one day Mike’s wife complains one too many times of his laziness and he shoots her in the face in front of me – I was 13
A dream-becomes-realty chapter - the dreams of killing on the bus, the reality of seeing his uncle kill

2

first murder - brown condo near Pomona freeway - latino woman asian woman - first I go inside and shoot the asian, negotiating, having some fun with it, shooting him through the forehead, hiding in the garage, dressed in black wearing a dark blue baseball cap, holding a gun, she tries not to show her fear, stands perfectly quiet, she focuses on my face then darts away, I put the pistol to her nose, No. Please don’t Stop!, I shoot her in her hand, she plays dead on the garage floor, (I later see that keys in her hand deflected the bullet), I step over the body, blood coming from her hand, I kick her body aside and enter the condo, I hear a noise, go outside discover the thing about her holding the key she brings her bleeding hand to her face, she smears some of it in her mouth, she tries to hide behind a car but I’m on her, Please don’t shoot me again! I pause - zap - and shove the gun inside my belt, turn, and disappear into the darkness - as I’m escaping (on the bus?) I realize my blue baseball cap is gone - I left it back there with those dead ones -- later that day, a female law student, looking from Taiwan, young woman lying next to a Chevy, her purse and one blue shoe in the car
radiofare after the first killing: based on this: “ten days passes since the Monterey Park shooting, Greater Los Angeles residents deluged with sensational stories made even more frightening by circulation seeking headlines and hysterical voiced newscasters about the serial killer rapist running amok in their midst, spurred by growing hysteria, grim-faced law officers doubled their efforts the take the madman off the streets, they checked out strange cars and faces, leaned on street informants, put out their own undercover men, sifting through any and all information that promised even the most tenuous connection to recent killings, and repeatedly questioned witnesses - to catch the killer before he strikes again”
30 year old woman dragged from car and shot to death
white ranch house in Whittier 1/2 mile from San Gabriel River freeway Italians, mid 60s, woman’s eyes gouged out, empty sockets ringed with black gobs of blood and tissue - I had plunged a knife through her left breath leaving a large rugged wound, I had butchered her neck face abdomen and pubic area (cold bloodily, deliberately) bullet to her head killed her, I just stayed around to play with her body afterward - the woman stretched back in her bed, man on a sofa in the den fully clothed shot through the left temple, 45 caliber next to the woman’s body bullet below the bed, I came in through a bedroom window leaving footprints in the flowerbeds
Monterrey park - Chinese couple - one story beige stucco home 1.5 miles from San Bernardino freeway - through a window, to the bedroom, placed my gun to the man’s head and (SHOT) hand over the mouth of the woman as she screams, punching her viciously, slamming her around, she tries to shake her husband back to life I’m asking where the money and jewelry is, she tells me where to look, I jerk her arms behind her back and thumb cuff her painfully - I ransack the house spilling papers clothes all over - I curse wildly finding nothing and return to the bedroom pull the woman to the edge of the bed and rape her - I leave

3

40 year old white lady from Burbank - 12 year old son in bed before putting on a filmy pink nightgown - I force my way into the home, shine my flashlight point my gun at her head, Where is it? Get out of bed, I force her down the hall to her son’s room, climb on the bed and put my gun to the boy’s head - Don’t make a sound or do anything - I handcuff the boy behind his back - Mama? - Don’t say anything! I warn you! I push the boy into a closet and and slam the door - Don’t look at me. If you look at me again, I’ll shoot you - What do you want? I only have one thing of value - If I give it to you, will you please leave? Sure - she leads me to a dresser drawer, pulls out a gold and diamond necklace - I look it over and tell her to put her hands behind her back - But you promised! - Quiet bitch! I told you to put your hands behind your back - I tie her wrists with a pair of pantyhose, push her on the back on her back - I unzip my pants watching the pink and green snake resume its volume - tear the shimmery pink nightgown from her body - Please don’t do this - Shut up. If you make another noise I’ll kill you - she turns her head to avoid my breath - biting her lip as I raped her - when I was done I flipped her over and kept going - speaking softly through pain and tears she says You must have had a very unhappy life to do this to me - I say You look pretty good for your age, I don’t know why I’m letting you live, I’ve killed people before, You don’t believe me, but I have - I ransack the apartment dresser drawers looking for cash - I go back to the bedroom because she’s complaining that the pantyhose hurt her wrists - I loosen the knot and bring her a robe - I bring her son out from the closet, handcuff the woman next to the boy, and leave (is this son active conversationally during the previous time? - at least have him verbally complain / whimper and me tell him to shut the fuck up)
cars squeal to a stop - I try to force the young woman out of her car - we argue - I jump in my car and drive away at top speed Help me! Please somebody help me!
83 year old woman and invalid sister 79 year old - 2 bedroom house beige with brown trim - ends with the 83 year old lying in a pool of drying blood on her bedroom floor - head covered in deep cuts and bruises - 79 year old in another bedroom, wrists bound behind her back with the cord from an electric clock - black electrical tape around her ankles - puncture wound over 1 ear - bloodstained hammer with cracked handle lying on a dresser - house ransacked papers clothing pictures vases half eaten banana lying on the dining room table - a TV is missing - 83 year old has pentagram drawn in lipstick on Malvia Keller’s thigh - another pentagram crudely drawn in lipstick on the bedroom wall where the 79 year old lay comatose - small table overturned on 83yos chest - both women viciously beaten with the hammer and slashed - they had been tortured - I tried to rape the older woman - the 83 year old died, the younger one survived
pretty 32yo found dead in her yellow one story duplex 2 miles from the 210 freeway - throat cut from ear to ear - I go in, find a pair sleeping, crack crack him in the head with my gun, Beat her in the head and ask where her jewelry is - I swear upon (GOD) I don’t know - Swear upon satan - drag her from beside her stillness husband, threw her on the floor, ripped off her pjs, kicked her with my hard toed boots, slamming her head and body into the floor and bed, roll her on her stomach, handcuff her behind her back, dragged her by her hair bleeding from her face (her nose and mouth) into another bedroom where I flung her on the bed and raped her, screaming that she was a bitch and many other things, swear upon satan that you will not scream for help bitch! Say I’ll kill her boy if she disobeyed, half conscious and mouth filled with blood she swears in satan’s name not to scream - the boy was awake (I thought he went for ice cream) he is watching while I process his mom, I tie him up and look for rich stuff throughout the house, I see myself in the mirror scraggly bony corpse face rotting (MISSING) teeth, wild hair, threw the bitch onto her stomach, attempted to ass fuck her (FAILED) raped her (VAGINA) again, she’s half conscious during, throughout, I spew a constant angry stream of curses, I finally handcuff her to the door

4 - (chilling in the crack motel summoning satan)

prepping the coke shot
..

5

9yo boy kidnapped from home sodomized left bleeding near Silver Lake (allowed to live)
girl kidnapped at gunpoint raped by me in her house while her parents slept (allowed to live)
teenage babysitter fells asleep and I entered through a window and raped her (allowed to live)
75yo woman dead in 1 story beige house near Arcadia - brutally beaten throat slashed with a knife house ransacked
16yo girl I attacked at home in Arcadia beat viciously about head with tire iron
61yo woman dead beige house bludgeoned to death
63yo nurse sleeping at home I put a hand over her mouth point a gun at her head and say Make a sound and I’ll kill you - roughly pull her hands behind her back and handcuff them - took her to the bathroom ordered her to sit down - don’t make any noise and don’t look at me - she nods mutely - I ransack the home - order her back into the bedroom order her to lie down and stuffed a glove in her mouth - Bite down on this so you won’t scream - the glove kept her teeth from chattering - shove a pillow over her face unzip my pants and try to rape but can’t get hard - order her to turn on her stomach try to ass rape her - failed - nurse’s terror increases with each of my failures - she thinks I might kill her to salve my pride - instead after cursing her I gather all the valuables I can carry and leave
(in the same night) Glendale - unlatched side gate and through unlocked French doors - I pass quietly through the house coming to bedroom of 60 year old husband and wife are sleeping - collector of peanut butter jars filled with pennies - wife has back problems makes it difficult to move - I shoot and butcher then savagely in a killing frenzy - wife covered in gaping slash wounds exposing bone and vital organs - husband throat cut so deep almost decapitated

6

(in the same night) I shoot a 30yo husband in the head while he sleeps by his wife - she looks at the hold in her husband’s head and cries looking at me over her with a gun in her face - I laugh at the hole in the guy’s head and his wife’s reaction - Don’t worry bitch. I just knocked him out - I hit him over the head !! Don’t worry, see? I knock his head from side to side - See? He’s fine? See !! You’ll be wactching (Wheel of Fortune) together soon - I put a sheet over his face, took off 1 glove, and beat the woman with my fist - pull from the bed and throw her on the floor, punch her and kick her so hard that the tiny framed fragile woman almost fainted with the pain - when I got tired from the beating I handcuffed her behind her back and dragged her by her hair to another bedroom - bleeding from her mouth and nose I hurl her onto the bed - I deluge her with vile names she had never heard before, barely understood (bitch whore) Swear! Swear upon Satan that you won’t scream for help - gasping with pain she swears - I rip off her nightgown and drag her at gunpoint to her bedroom (he has the pillowcase over his head) This is your husband. He’s already dead - you can either cooperate or I will kill your children too - I rape her and force her to suck my dick - the cum spills out like Disney - bubbles from the Magician’s Apprentice - I drag her by her long hair as I searched the house for cash / valuables - she tells me about some jewelry but I’m unsatisfied - I stop to drink some apple juice from the refrigerator then drag her back to the bedroom and rape her again on the floor this time - I tie her up in the bedroom and took a bottle of baby oil into her 8yo son’s bedroom - the boy’s piercing screams - the mother’s whimpering complaints - my single shout to her to be quiet - boy’s screams and sobs - slapping sounds - bleeding from asshole - I go back to the woman, collect my valuables into a pillowcase and stuffed a sock in her mouth and left
afghan husband / wife - he shot to death while sleeping - his 28yo wife raped, ass raped, forced to suck my dick - husband and wife in bed - wife senses me, wakes - Who are you? What do you want? I laugh - the husband is half asleep - Is it one of your brothers acting our a bad joke? I point my gun at the wife and fire bullet tearing through her cheek next to her left eye pass through her palate and exit through back of her head - she falls back against the pillow - husband springs up - I fire again ripping his temple and lodging at the base of his brain in the back of his neck - Daughter in next room screams Mommy, what’s going on? - Virginia confused feeling no pain asks he’s hubby if they’d been shot with a stun gun - he gasped blood streaming from his head wound - her face was gone - I laugh and giggle and giggle - husband not having this, growling leaped from bed and chases me around the room !! I turn and run firing 2 wild shots screaming at the husband to stay back !! The growl grows louder, the father protecting his daughter (crying in the next room) - my arrogance turns to fear I scramble panicked from the house by an unarmed man with a bullet at the base of his brain

7

[running from police] Riding the bus again greyhound (considering) what I’ve done The capture on the street – crowd beats me with a metal pipe At the end, I’ve been working up to a reason why I did all this—teasing the reader—and in the end the answer is just that there is no answer—I did it all for fun !!